Insanity
by Saucely Kazzy Carton
Summary: Tom, Jerry, Butch, and Spike are actors who play in the TV show "Tom and Jerry". They are also roommates and live in the same house together. You are about to find out just how crazy their lives can get. Chapter 4: Tyke has gone insane and it's up to his father to stop him. Meanwhile, Tom has to face the horrors of getting a doctor's appointment!
1. The insanity begins

**Disclaimer: **Tom the cat, Jerry the mouse, Spike the dog, and Butch the cat are owned by Turner Entertainment and Warner Brothers. I'm just borrowing them in order to express my twisted and insane thoughts in a work of fiction.

**Note: **Spike's son is going to appear often in this fic. I'm not sure if my memory is correct but I believe his name is Tyke so that's the name I'm going to use. If Tyke is not his name then please correct me.

**Another Note: **This takes place around the year 2006. Keep that in mind while you read.

**Yet Another Note: **I have decided to make Tom and Butch brothers in this story. I know they're not brothers in the TV show, but I like the idea of them being brothers. Plus, they're both cats and they _kind of _look alike so I decided to run with the idea.

Also, Tom may come off as a jerk in this fic. If you're a Tom lover, then you might want to brace yourself. Although, if you ARE a Tom lover then I don't see why you watch Tom and Jerry. Tom always loses in the end, so if he's your favorite character then you have no business watching Tom and Jerry.

**XXXXX**

It was a lovely morning. The sun's rays were beginning to light up the city as it started to wake up. The birds were chirping happily has the sun slowly rose into the sky. It was the kind of beautiful morning that made you want to get up and sing.

Of course, that was not the case for Tom the Cat. All Tom wanted to do was sleep in. Tom was never a morning person.

Tom the Cat was an actor who played on the famous T.V. show "Tom and Jerry". Well, it used to be famous anyway. Modern kids just didn't care much for "Tom and Jerry" these days.

Back in the 1900's, kids would flip to see Tom and Jerry. Even the fat kids. They would do a complete back flip and stick the landing. The story about a cat trying but failing to catch a mouse was amusing at first but it's quickly getting old.

They hardly even make the cartoons anymore. Now they only make movies. The only "Tom and Jerry" cartoons you see on TV nowadays are re-runs from the 1900s.

Anyway, Tom lived in the same house as his brother, Butch. Butch was also in the show but only as a side or back-up character. Jerry also lived in the same house. Jerry was really the star of the show aside from Tom. Lastly, there was Spike and his son. Spike was the third most popular character on the show and his son Tyke also appeared occasionally.

Right now, Tom was sleeping on his bed. The curtains were closed in order to block out the sun. He was having a serene, peaceful, and dreamless sleep. Many people who knew Tom have often stated that he was more likable when he was asleep.

This was very much true since Tom is not a person who you would want to hang around with often. And to tell the truth, no one did except for Jerry, Spike, Tyke, and his brother Butch.

So Tom was having a peaceful sleep on his bed, completely undisturbed.

Suddenly, his door was kicked in and Tyke ran in.

"UNCLE TOM!" Tyke yelled.

Tom immediately woke up.

"Leave me alone" Tom muttered darkly.

"UNCLE TOM!" Tyke yelled.

Tom ignored Tyke and tried to get some more sleep.

"UNCLE TOOOM!" Tyke yelled again.

Tom ignored him. He wasn't going to let some brat disrupt his sleep.

Tyke called his name a few more times before realizing that his tactic wasn't going to work. He had to find a different way to wake Tom up. Cold water to the face always works.

Then Tyke left the room in order to get cold water. Tom heard Tyke leave and smiled to himself.

'The brat must have gotten bored and decided to leave me alone' Tom thought.

But, oh, he couldn't be more wrong.

Tyke ran into the room again with a bucket of cold water in his hand.

Then Tyke threw the water at Tom. Unfortunately, Tyke had bad aim and the water had hit Tom's computer instead.

Tom's computer, now covered in freezing cold water, had short circuited and it exploded, taking Tom with it.

Tom was blasted out of the room through the door,

landing in a charred heap on the floor, mentally cursing Tyke with every colorful word that he knew.

If Tom was sleepy before, then he was wide awake now.

"Blast it, child! What do you want?" Tom asked.

Tyke, seeing that Tom was awake and had his undivided attention, had decided to declare his original purpose for disturbing Tom.

"Well," Tyke started, "I was hoping if you could make me a sandwich"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Tom yelled.

Tom literally kicked Tyke out of his room. Tyke flew through the hall and landed down the stairs with a big crash.

Tyke didn't even flinch, whimper, or cry; which suggested that he was used to this sort of treatment from Tom.

Tyke knew that Tom probably wouldn't have made him a sandwich in the first place, but it was worth a try. Of course, Tom had refused to.

It was a shame. Tom made the best sandwiches.

**XXXXX**

Tom had just brutally kicked Tyke out of his room. And he was freaking mad. How dare that brat disturb his sleep just for a sandwich! Tyke always said that his sandwiches were to die for, but he really _will_ die if he kept this up.

Tom took a look at what remained of his computer. It was totally destroyed now. The explosion had totaled it.

Tom cursed Tyke once more before picking up his busted computer. Oh well, it was time to buy a new one anyway.

"Tom, are you being mean to Tyke again?" A voice asked.

Tom looked on the ground beside him and saw Jerry.

"No, I'm not being "mean" to the brat." Tom replied.

"Oh, so you were being nice to him. That explains why I saw him flying through the halls and down the stairs" Jerry said sarcastically.

Tom rolled his eyes at Jerry's comment.

"I wasn't being mean to him. I was simply giving him what he deserved."

"And what does he deserve, Tom?" Jerry asked.

"He deserves a good, thorough beating! Look what the mini-fool did to my computer!" Tom said.

"So what? That thing is old anyway. You've had it since 2001. When are you going to get a more modern computer?" Jerry asked.

"That is irrelevant. The point is, if I had to choose between putting up with the brat all day, and jumping off a cliff, I'd choose the second choice. It's obvious that Spike doesn't do anything worth a darn when raising him" Tom said.

"That's kinda harsh" Jerry said.

"But it's true. Tyke is nothing but a selfish and spoiled brat." (1)

"Come on, Tom. Tyke has his good points" Jerry said.

"Name one" Tom said.

"Well…uh…um…" Jerry stuttered.

"That's what I thought" Tom said.

Tom had turned around and walked down the stairs. He had decided that he probably wasn't going to get much more sleep at this point.

Besides, he had to go to the studio today. They were filming a new Tom and Jerry movie.

Tom had decided to brace himself for what was sure to be a long day. He walked into the kitchen, intending to get a cup of coffee.

Spike was already in the kitchen making some breakfast.

"Good morning, Tom" Spike said.

"Hmph, if you can call this a good morning" Tom said bitterly.

Tom went to the place where he always kept some coffee, while Spike was fixing some pancakes. Spike had just finished putting the pancake batter in the pan.

Tom had grabbed his coffee and heated it up. Once he was satisfied that his coffee was warm enough he grabbed it and prepared to drink it. (2)

Tom had taken a nice, big sip of his beloved coffee, before spitting it out and straight into Spike's pancake batter.

"Do you mind? You just ruined the pancakes" Spike said.

"What the heck is this? This isn't my coffee!" Tom said angrily.

"Of course it isn't. I have taken the liberty of replacing all the coffee with nutritional health drinks"

"Well, what would possess you to do a thing like that?!" Tom asked.

"Well, you should know that coffee isn't good for you. All that caffeine can't be good for your body. Which is why I've replaced it with this health drink. It's full of rich vitamins that will give you enough energy to last the rest of the day, let alone the temporary jumpstart that coffee gives you."

"Well, this "health drink" tastes like something has been swimming around in it. I want my coffee!" Tom said.

"Hey, if you don't like it then don't drink it. But if you want coffee then get it yourself 'cause I'm not gonna provide it anymore. And by the way, you ruined the pancakes!"

"AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?!" Tom shouted.

"BECAUSE THAT WAS OUR BREAKFAST!"

"WELL, HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR BREAKFAST!"

Tom threw the rest of his health drink at Spike.

Then Spike took his pancake batter and splashed it at Tom.

Then Tom took some ketchup and splashed it at Spike, who retaliated by shooting mayonnaise at Tom. Tom took a tomato a threw it at Spike and it hit him straight in the nose.

Spike took a breadstick and slapped Tom across the face. Then, Tom took a block of cheese and smashed it into Spike's face.

It wasn't long before the entire kitchen became a war zone.

Tom and Spike grabbed any food that they could get could get their hands on. It wasn't long before they ran out of food to throw. But that didn't stop them. Spike picked up a spoon and threw it at Tom, who blocked it with a pan and threw it at Spike. While Spike was distracted, Tom picked up a chair and threw it at Spike but he missed.

Then Butch walked in the kitchen. His eyes were closed and he was humming as he listened to some music on his iPod. If he was paying attention, he would have seen the flying chair that was headed straight for his face.

**BAM!**

Butch clutched his aching face with his hands. He didn't say anything. His pain was beyond words. Eventually, he looked up to see Spike and Tom staring at him. He looked beside him and saw a chair on the ground.

The chair had a big dent in it. A dent that was shaped like his face.

The math did itself.

"Which one of you threw that!" Butch yelled.

Spike pointed at Tom who had an unrepentant and uncaring look on his face.

"Sorry" Tom said.

If Tom truly felt sorry for hitting Butch, he didn't show it.

"SORRY?! You threw a chair at me!" Butch yelled.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I was aiming it at Spike." Tom said.

"You threw a chair regardless. And it hit my FACE!" Butch yelled.

"Then you shouldn't have been in the way" Tom said.

Butch looked at Tom incredulously.

"Sometimes I wonder how in the world we could possibly be related." Butch said.

"I wonder that too. You're such a moron that it makes me sick. And we don't even look alike aside from the fact that we're both cats" Tom said.

"You know Tom, I can see why Spike was fighting with you! Sometimes, you just need to be hit. You just need to be punched in the face every once in a while!" Butch yelled.

"And are you volunteering to do it?" Tom asked.

"Yes, MAYBE I AM!" Butch yelled.

"LAY ONE FINGER ON ME AND YOU WON'T HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO REGRET IT!"

"JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE, TOM! SHUT UP!" Butch said.

There was a long, uneasy moment of quiet after that.

"Wow. You two have more similarities than I thought" Jerry said.

Tom, Butch, and Spike(who had thankfully kept quiet while the brothers were arguing) turned to see Jerry standing beside them.

No one had noticed Jerry enter the room. Then again, Jerry was so small that no one could hear him unless they had sonic hearing.

"Unfortunately." Tom said in response to Jerry's comment.

"What do you mean 'unfortunately'. You make it sound like a bad thing to be related to me!" Butch said.

"It IS a bad thing! Anyone who has to put up with you would call it a bad thing." Tom argued.

"Why…you…" Butch muttered angrily.

"Uh, guys?" Jerry said, "Can we not do this? I have a headache and I'm not in the mood to hear any more arguing."

"Finally. The first intelligent thing I've heard all day" Spike said.

Then Tyke wondered into the room.

"Excuse me" Tyke said, "Can I have a bowl of cereal?"

Butch looked at all the spilled and wasted food on the floor, courtesy of Tom and Spike's food fight.

"We don't have any cereal. Or any food for that matter, thanks to Tom and Spike." Butch said.

"What were you two fighting about anyway?" Jerry asked.

Tom and Spike looked at each other.

"We don't remember" Tom and Spike answered simultaneously.

"Oh for the love of…" Jerry started, "well now we have nothing to eat and all of us are hungry."

"Hey, how's about we go to a fast food restaurant and pick up some breakfast?" Spike suggested.

"Yeah!" Butch agreed, "We can go to the store later and pick up some food"

"Sounds reasonable" Tom agreed.

"Then it's settled" Butch said, "What should we eat?"

Spike and Tyke looked at each other and then back at the others.

"McDonalds!" The two dogs said.

Tom sighed.

"Not that horrid restaurant again" Tom said.

"What's wrong with McDonalds? They have good food." Spike said.

"No they don't! Their food is disgusting!" Butch said.

"Finally. Something me and Butch agree on" Tom said.

"OK. What do you suggest that we eat if not McDonalds?" Spike said.

"I hear Burger King sells breakfast nowadays. We could go there." Butch suggested.

"That place is horrid too, but it's much more bearable than McDonalds." Tom agreed.

"What? Come on, guys. McDonald's food is the bomb" Spike said.

"What! McDonalds is nasty! Burger King is cool" Butch said.

"A Burger King burger isn't as good as a McDonalds burger" Spike said.

"A McDonalds burger is more like death on a bun, it's so fattening and nasty." Butch argued.

Tom and Jerry looked on with annoyance on their faces as Butch and Spike tossed insults at McDonalds and Burger King back and forth.

Jerry grew angrier with each passing minute. Soon, he had had enough.

"SILENCE!" Jerry yelled.

Everyone had their eyes on Jerry.

"Now then, instead of arguing back and forth, I say we take a vote. All those in favor of eating McDonalds raise their hands" Jerry declared.

Spike and Tyke raised their hands.

"Hands down. Now then, all those in favor of eating Burger King raise their hands" Jerry said.

Tom and Butch raised their hands.

"Ok. So it looks like a tie. The dogs want McDonalds and the cats want Burger King. I guess it's up to me to be the tiebreaker. Now let's see. McDonalds or Burger King. I think I'll choose…"

**XXXXXX**

**10 minutes later**

Tom and Butch scowled as they pulled up in front of McDonalds. Tom, Jerry, Butch, Spike, and Tyke were in a minivan with Tom at the wheel.

Jerry had picked McDonalds over Burger King which is why they were here. After this, Tyke would get dropped off for school and the rest will go to the studio. They pulled up in front of the drive-thru menu.

"Hello." The voice on the intercom said, "Can I help you?"

"I hope not." Tom said with a scowl on his face.

"Yes. We would like to order some breakfast." Jerry said.

"Ok. What would you like?" The intercom voice said.

"I would like to bring a zombie apocalypse down on all of you!" Tom said bitterly.

"I'll take an order of hotcakes with a side of-" Spike started.

"Darkness and misery if I have my way" Tom interrupted.

"Hash browns along with-" Spike said.

"Despair." Tom said.

"Tom, shut up!" Jerry said.

"Eggs and-" Spike said.

"Make me, you moronic mouse!" Tom interrupted.

"Sausage and-"

"I'm not in the mood for this, Tom! You don't want to make me do something I'll regret" Jerry said.

"And an extra order of biscuits with-" Spike said.

"Your very existence ought to be something you regret!" Tom yelled.

"As for the drink, I would like to have a bottle of-"

"Spiders!" Tyke said, figuring that he should pitch in and say something.

"Will you guys shut up and LET ME ORDER!" Spike said, having finally lost it.

"Not until Tom apologizes!" Jerry said.

"Feh. I would rather eat a snail. If you ask me, whoever created this putrid restaurant deserves to get dragged out into the street and shot. Three times. In the face." Tom said.

"Don't you think that's a violent thing to say in a 'K' rated fanfic? KIDS are reading this for crying out loud!" Butch said.

"So what? The children can go drown in a lake for all I care." Tom said.

"I think you're scaring the young readers." Jerry said.

"Good. At least I'll be able to spread SOME fear by noon." Tom said.

"Remind me again why I tolerate you in my household." Jerry said.

"It's MY household too!" Tom said.

"Yeah. But not for long if you keep acting like this. In fact, all those in favor of evicting Tom, raise their hands." Jerry said.

Everyone in the car raised their hand. The author of this fanfic raised his hand. Even the readers raised their hands.

"Grr. The whole universe is against me." Tom said.

"Umm. Sirs? Your orders?" The intercom voice said. She sounded extremely nervous and slightly frightened.

There was no doubt in Spike's mind that this was Tom's fault.

Darn it. Why couldn't he have a normal family.

The minute he got enough money, he would take himself and his son to get a new house. A house that was far away from Tom, who was obviously a bad influence on his son.

Satisfied that no one was going to interrupt him this time, he re-stated the order that he had given earlier.

This was turning out to be a long day. And it wasn't even 8:00 yet.

**XXXXX**

**- end of chapter -**

**A/N: I don't know what possessed me to write a Tom and Jerry fanfic. But oh well. I might as well finish what I started.**

**As for you Tom lovers, I apologize in advance for any discomfort you may have felt at seeing Tom act this way.**

**All I can say is: If you don't like it, then don't read it! I don't need any flames! Constructive criticism is welcome but flames are not!**

(1): I say that Tyke is a spoiled brat for many reasons. On the Tom and Jerry episodes where Tyke appears, Spike always lets Tyke get whatever he wants whenever he wants.

And whenever Tyke gets hurt, even if it's Tyke's own fault, Spike always shifts the blame to someone else(Usually Tom). And Tyke always gets what he wants. I even remember seeing a Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tyke was allowed to have his own knife. That ain't right.

It is for these reasons and several others that I have decided to make Tyke the spoiled brat.

(2): No one in my household drinks coffee. I don't know how coffee is made since I've never even SEEN it before except on TV so if this isn't how you make coffee then don't whine to me about it.

**Next time on Insanity: **Tom nearly gets everyone killed because he drives over 230 miles per hour. Spike gets fed up with Butch's iPod and decides to put several bullets in it with his gun. Tyke meets up with his best friend Nibbles and decides to cause chaos. And Jerry gets chased by a giant banana.

You can expect all this and more in the next installment of Insanity.


	2. A Day At The Studio

**Disclaimer: **Tom and his evil band of zombie ninjas that will soon take over the world belong to Turner Entertainment and Warner Brothers. Jerry, Spike, and Butch also belong to them as well.

**A/N: **There will be several scenes featuring the movie Tom and Jerry: The Fast and the Furry. I've seen the movie but I don't own it on video so I'm working based off of memory. If I got one of the scenes wrong, then just pretend that's how it actually happened in the movie.

I already told you before, I don't accept any whining.

**Another A/N: **I was just kidding about Tom having zombie ninjas. Don't expect to see any zombie apocalypses in this chapter.

**Yet Another A/N: **Don't forget that this takes place around the year 2006.

Speaking of which, here comes the next chapter of Insanity!

Enjoy!

**XXXXX**

**Chapter 2: A Day at the Studio**

After they had left McDonalds, Tom had gotten back on the road. They were headed straight for Tyke's school. Spike was munching on the hotcakes that he ordered. Jerry had a cheese and egg omelet and Butch had a breakfast burrito. Tom and Tyke had already finished their food.

Tom would've liked to say that it was nice and peaceful in the car. Unfortunately, it wasn't peaceful. Not with Tyke singing like a madman.

"THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND. THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ALL THROUGH THE TOW-"

"Stop that singing before I drag you all through the town!" Tom said.

Tyke made no indication that he had heard Tom. In fact, he sung even louder.

"YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TILL YOU GET THERE! YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU'RE-"

"SHUT UP!" Tom yelled.

"OLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM! EIEIO! AND ON THIS FARM, HE HAD A HEADACHE. EIEIO!"

"Wait…what?" Butch said, "That's not how the song goes."

"I sympathize with Old McDonald." Tom said.

"BABY MONKEY WAS SO LITTLE AND SWEET. BABY MONKEY TRIED TO CROSS THE STREET. HE LOOKED TO THE LEFT AND HE LOOKED TO THE RIGHT AND WHEN THE TRAFFIC WAS GONE, HE STEPPED OFF THE CURB AND WAS HIT BY A BUS AND WAS KNOCKED TO KINGDOM COME!"

"Wait. A baby got hit by a bus? What kind of children's song is that?" Spike asked.

"TRA LA LA LA LA LA LA!" Tyke sang.

"Um…Spike? I think your son might be broken." Jerry said.

Tom snorted, "That's an understatement."

"Spike, tell your son to stop singing! He's giving us all a headache!" Butch said.

"Now, Tyke, can you stop singing now?" Spike asked.

"No" Tyke said before singing again.

"But-" Spike started.

"I said no." Tyke said. Then he started singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider".

Spike's jaw dropped to the ground. Did that just…happen?

Did Tyke just defy him?

Tom had started laughing at Spike's expense.

Tyke kept singing.

Jerry shook his head.

Butch rolled his eyes.

Spike looked absolutely aghast.

"Please stop singi-" Spike started.

"NO!" Tyke yelled.

Tom laughed louder.

Spike looked at his disrespectful son with watery eyes, wondering where he went wrong when raising him.

When Spike vocalized his question, Tom started laughing like a mad banshee.

"Tyk-" Spike started.

"Shut up!" Tyke said.

"Did you just-" Spike started

"SHUT UP!" Tyke shouted.

Tom was clutching his sides as he laughed. Of course, to do this he had to let go of the steering wheel. The car went berserk as it spun around like a headless chicken.

Tom got the car to settle down once he took hold of the steering wheel. He was still laughing.

"Man, Spike" Tom said, "You really must've did a bad job raising him if-"

"You shut up too!" Tyke said.

Tom immediately stopped laughing.

"That brat did not just-" Tom started.

"I said SHUT UP!" Tyke said like he was the king of the planet.

"That's it! NOW WE'VE GOT PROBLEMS!" Tom stated.

Tom let go of the steering wheel and walked to the back of the car where Tyke was.

"Hey, Tom! Who's driving this thing!" Jerry yelled frantically.

"Are you crazy?! You can't let go of the steering wheel while we're in traffic!" Butch yelled.

Tom walked to where Tyke was, who had enough sense to get as far away from Tom as possible. He wasn't _that _stupid.

Meanwhile, Butch had tried to gain control of the wheel. However, it was hard to steer from the position that he was in. He ended up accidentally driving straight into a bakery.

He drove straight through the bakery before bursting out the opposite wall.

Butch continued to drive when he noticed something. Everyone who was driving on the same lane was moving in the opposite direction.

'Oh no. Don't tell me' Butch thought.

He turned his head around and sure enough, there was a one way sign over there. And he was going the WRONG way!

Meanwhile, there was smashing and crashing and bashing going on behind Butch.

There were several screams and some breaking sounds and Butch knew that the best way to prolong his life would be to NOT get involved.

He tried to make a turn to get out of the One Way road, but he missed and accidentally drove straight into an orphanage.

It had been several minutes before he managed to get on the road again. Butch sighed a sigh of relief as he realized that this was NOT a one-way. By this time, Butch had taken complete control of the wheel.

But it didn't last long as Tom came up to him and yanked him out of the driver's seat.

Butch got back into his seat as Tom started driving again. No one dared to say anything.

Butch decided to look back and see how Tyke was doing. He expected to see a hurt and traumatized child sitting there.

He didn't expect to see Tyke smiling. He looked happy.

In fact, he was dancing. On the ceiling. Upside down.

Butch decided to ignore the fact that Tyke was breaking one of the laws of nature, in favor of feeling relief that he was okay.

Whatever Tom did to him apparently didn't much of an effect on the young dog.

Then they came up to Tyke's school. Tom didn't slow down. In fact, he sped up.

"Hey, Tom? We're at Tyke's school" Jerry said.

"I am aware of that" Tom said.

"So aren't you going to slow down?" Spike said, "If you don't stop in time then you won't be able to drop off Tyke."

"Who said anything about stopping?" Tom asked.

Tom picked Tyke up(or down from his position on the ceiling) and threw him out the window while the car was still driving. Tyke landed in front of his school.

"Did you just throw Tyke out the window? WHILE you were driving?" Jerry said.

"Yeah. So?" Tom said.

"SO? You threw a kid out of a window of a car that's still driving! And all you say is "SO"?! That's not very nice, Tom!" Jerry yelled.

"Well, I didn't get to where I am today by being "nice". And who cares if I threw him out the window? The kid was once snowboarding off the edge of Mount Everest during an avalanche. If he can survive that, than he can survive getting thrown out the window."

"You know, he's got a point" Spike said, knowing full well what his son was capable of.

Tom continued to drive on the road.

Butch looked beside him and saw that he still had his breakfast burrito. He wanted to eat the rest of it, but after everything that just happened, he found that he had lost his appetite for it.

"I'm done with my burrito. Does anyone want the leftovers." Butch asked. He turned to Tom.

"Sibling? Would you like my burrito?" Butch asked teasingly. He knew that Tom hated burritos.

Tom didn't respond. Instead, he took the burrito and threw it out the window. He didn't even care to watch as the burrito hit the pavement outside.

"You know, you could've just said 'no thank you'. You didn't have to throw it out the window." Butch said.

Tom still didn't respond. Instead, he looked at his watch and scowled.

"What time does the director want us to be at the studio?" Tom said.

"In 20 minutes." Jerry said.

"It'll take at least 30 minutes to get there" Tom said.

"Well, what do we do?" Spike asked, "You know how mad the director gets if we're late"

"We're going to have to take a shortcut." Tom said.

This was extreme cause for concern.

"A…s-shortcut?" Spike asked.

"Yes, you fool! A shortcut!" Tom said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jerry asked, knowing full well what Tom considered to be a "shortcut".

Tom smirked.

"You might want to buckle your seatbelts." he said.

Everyone quickly did as he asked without even giving it a second thought.

**XXXXX**

**10 minutes later**

The studio that they were referring to happened to be the studio of the world famous Warner Brothers team. It was a big studio. With plenty of sets and stages.

Some of the sets and stages were on the inside of a big building in the back. Others were outside the building and there was still plenty of space on the Warner Brothers' lot.

Warner Brothers was the most popular movie making industry in the world. The only rival they had that could compete with them was Disney and even then, Disney had some catching up to do.

There were plenty of people all around the studio. The studio was always busy and usually brimming with life.

The security guards in the front watched people enter and leave the studio. Their job was to make sure no one got in that wasn't supposed to get in.

They just finished kicking a fan girl out because she tried to get in without a studio pass.

This wasn't unusual. Since many famous stars came to this studio, naturally a fan would try to sneak in in an attempt to see them in person.

And that happened more often than not.

Yes sir, the life of a Warner Brothers security guard sure was interesting.

It was then that the security guards noticed a car that was headed straight for the studio and it was going extremely fast.

In fact, to say that this car was speeding would have been an understatement.

It ought to have been against the laws of physics for a car to go that fast.

And the car was speeding straight towards the studio wall.

In a normal situation, they would be panicking. Of course, they WEREN'T panicking because this was far from a normal situation.

Nothing about Tom and Jerry was ever normal.

Despite the fact that their show was far from the most popular cartoon, EVERYONE in the studio knew who Tom and Jerry were.

Tom, Jerry, and their entourage cause plenty of chaos on a daily basis and it's because of that that everyone knew who they were.

Yep, anyone who called Tom and Jerry 'normal' either didn't know them, or needed to be put in a mental hospital.

**XXXXX**

**In the car**

Tom took one last turn before arriving at the Warner Brothers' studio, and he was driving ridiculously fast.

In fact, he was driving so fast that it was a wonder that they hadn't been chased by police.

They came up to the studio but Tom didn't slow down. He just kept driving extremely fast.

If Tom cared that he was about to hit a wall, he didn't show it.

"Tom, we're here! Slow down!" Spike yelled.

Tom kept driving.

"Ok, Tom. You can slow down now!" Jerry said.

Tom was about to drive straight into a wall.

"Tom! Stop before you kill us all!" Butch shouted.

Tom stopped so suddenly that Butch flew out the front window and hit the wall of the studio.

"Okay, brother, I stopped. Are you happy now?" Tom asked with a smirk on his face.

"I hate you, Tom" Butch said before falling to the ground.

Then Tom unlocked the doors and everyone got out.

Immediately, Jerry kissed the ground.

"LAND!" Jerry said.

Tom rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, you big baby, it wasn't THAT bad." he said.

Jerry looked at Tom like he had lost his mind.

"It wasn't that bad'? You were driving over and THROUGH several buildings. You drove straight through a mall with speeds up to 230 miles per hour. And did I forget anything? Oh yeah, you drove in front of a moving train and it barely missed us! I thought we were going to die!" Jerry yelled hysterically.

Tom rolled his eyes again as they started walking to the entrance of the studio.

"Jerry's got a point, Tom." Spike added, "Why can't you just take a normal detour like a normal person?"

"Because I am not normal. Nor do I want to be. I make it a point to differentiate myself from the rest of the idiots that make up the human race." Tom said.

"What is it with you and your hatred of the human race?" Jerry asked.

"Trust me. You don't want to know" Tom responded.

"Yeah. I probably do not." Jerry agreed.

Tom, Jerry, Butch, and Spike walked to the gate entrance. Each of them showed the guards their studio pass and the guards let them through.

**XXXXX**

**Inside the studio**

Tom, Jerry, Butch, and Spike walked throughout the studio. The set for 'Tom and Jerry' was inside of Building #45. And that's where they were going.

They passed through many other sets as they walked through the studio. Butch took a look at the set for 'Looney Tunes', which was probably Warner Brothers' most popular cartoon.

Their leader, Bugs Bunny, was practically the face of Warner Brothers.

So much so that at the beginning of every Warner Brothers movie or cartoon, they show a picture of Bugs standing beside a WB sign with one of his trademark carrots.

Butch looked at another set and saw that it was the DC Comics set.

He saw Batman and Superman along with several other DC characters. Ready to film their next movie.

There were several other movie stars and cartoon characters around.

Butch never got the chance to talk to any of these people right now though.

In fact, everyone seemed to be avoiding them today. They were steering clear of them like the plague.

There was no doubt in Butch's mind that it was Tom's fault. The scowl that Tom had on his face was enough to scare off plenty of people. Especially considering the fact that Tom was one of the main people who tended to cause chaos around here.

Spike's voice brought Butch out of his thoughts.

"What's the name of this movie again?" Spike asked.

"I think it's called "Tom and Jerry: The Fast and the Furry" Jerry said, "There's a poster of it up there on the wall."

Spike looked up and sure enough, there was a poster there that said 'Coming soon. Tom and Jerry: The Fast and the Furry'.

The poster showed a picture of Tom chasing Jerry in what looked like a motorized race car. Jerry was also in a race car of his own but one that fit his size better.

"I just hope that this movie turns out better than "Tom and Jerry Blast Off to Mars" Butch said, "I wasn't even IN that movie"

"Actually, I don't think you're in THIS movie either." Spike said.

"Why am I not surprised? I'm almost never in these big Tom and Jerry movies!" Butch complained.

"Hey, Butch? Have you ever been in one of our big movies?" Jerry asked.

"A few times but not often." Butch said.

"Feh. The only movie I can remember my brother being in was "Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring", and even then, it was only a brief appearance." Tom said.

"Shut it, Tom! I didn't ask for your opinion!" Butch said, "All I'm saying is that I wish I had a bigger role in the series. I'm a part of the show too, so I think I deserve to be in the movies as well. I mean, if Spike is allowed to be in these movies then why can't I?"

"Why are you complaining anyway?" Tom asked, "If anything, **I **should be complaining! I hate coming to this studio!"

"Why is that?" Jerry asked.

"This place is always crawling with self-centered morons who think that they're better than everyone else. They crawl all over this place like rats and they're infested with at least thirty different strains of stupid! If I had any say in the matter, I would've blown this place up with an atomic bomb by now!" Tom said.

"And I have no doubt in my mind that you HAVE an atomic bomb" Butch said.

"Actually, I have several. I keep them under my bed along with my other weapons of mass destruction" Tom said.

Spike stopped in his tracks, "Wait, you have atomic bombs? That's horrible! What if they went off while we were in the house? We would all die! Plus, isn't that illegal?"

Tom waved him off, "Oh, pshaw. A few atomic bombs aren't gonna hurt anyone. And yes, there probably is a law concerning citizens owning nuclear weapons but the police are so lax about enforcing that law that I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in this country had an nuclear weapon up their sleeve."

Spike decided to end the conversation there as he was starting to get uncomfortable and slightly unstable.

Then they made it to Stage #45 which was the 'Tom and Jerry' set.

They walked inside the studio, only to face off with their worst nightmare: an angry director.

"Where the heck have you four been?! You're late, late, late, late, LATE! I can't believe how late you are! How dare you keep me waiting that long!"

Jerry looked at his watch and said, "We're 5 minutes early."

"NOT EARLY ENOUGH! We've got a strict schedule to keep! But we can't keep that schedule if you just laze around with your sloth like selves and lollygag when you should be coming here WORKING ON YOUR NEXT MOVIE!"

"Wow. Someone sure woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Butch said.

"Don't start with me, Butch! I'm not in the mood!" the director said, "Tom! Jerry! Get your butts on the stage! Butch! Spike! Sit down and stay that way unless I call you up here!"

Butch and Spike sat down on the sidelines, not wanting to anger the director any further.

Meanwhile, Tom and Jerry got up on the stage.

The stage was designed to look like the living room of a house. There were several props and pieces of furniture put together along with a house-like background.

"Another day, another migraine." Tom groaned.

"Can't you be cheerful for one day?" Jerry asked.

"I'll be cheerful when I no longer have to act in this miserable excuse for a children's cartoon." Tom said.

"I HOPE YOU CAN WORK TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TALK!" The director said, "Now get in your positions!"

Tom and Jerry groaned but they didn't argue. They each stood in their assigned positions on the stage.

"Now then!" The director said, "It's time to begin the first scene! I want both of you to act this out to the best of your abilities!"

The director turned to Jerry.

"Jerry, your acting ability so far is nearly flawless. I want to see that same type of acting today as you rehearse your scenes. Just continue to be that cute, lovable little mouse that always outsmarts that big bad cat."

Then, the director turned to Tom.

"Tom, your acting ability needs work! You've got the scenes down but you need to work on your emotion. Remember, you despise that mouse and you want to pay him back for all the times he's tormented you! I want you to try and catch Jerry like you mean it! I want to feel your disgust and hatred for Jerry! How else are we going to convince the kids that you two are actually enemies?"

Tom snorted, "I can think of several ways"

"Now then! Let's begin!" The director said.

Everyone in the room ran to their assigned places.

"I really wish I wasn't here right now." Tom said.

"Just shut up and do your part" Jerry said.

"LIGHTS!" The director said.

"CAMERA!"

"ACTION!"

All the lights in the studio turned to the stage that Tom and Jerry were standing on.

Then Jerry ran away from Tom.

And Tom ran after Jerry.

And the chase began.

**XXXXX**

Meanwhile, Butch and Spike watched as Tom chased Jerry.

They also watched as Tom got his butt kicked.

Or at least, he was _pretending _to get his butt kicked.

In real life, Jerry couldn't pull off half of the things that he was doing to Tom.

Tom would've killed him before he got the chance to, anyway.

Butch often teased his brother about the fact that Jerry always gets him so many times in the cartoon.

Butch was not in a teasing mood, however.

He was too busy being bored to death.

"I don't see why I have to come to these things." Butch said, "I'm not even in this movie! All I ever do is sit around here and do nothing!"

"I wouldn't complain in front of the director if I was you, Butch. After all, we are getting PAID to sit around here and do nothing." Spike said.

"Bite me" Butch spat.

"You're just like your brother." Spike said.

"I'm NOTHING like Tom! Do I look like some kind of gothic sadist to you?!" Butch said.

Spike looked at Butch's black fur.

"Well, you've got the gothic part down. At least Tom can take HIS black off."

"Was that supposed to be funny?!" Butch said.

"Calm down, I was only joking" Spike said.

Butch didn't respond. Instead, he took out his iPod and plugged his earphones into his ears. He started humming as he began to listen to some tunes.

"What are you doing" Spike asked.

"Listening to music. I figured that if I'm going to sit here and do nothing, I might as well do it while listening to music" Butch said.

"But that's unfair! If you get to listen to music, then what do I do?" Spike asked.

"You can listen to your OWN iPod." Butch suggested.

"I don't own an iPod" Spike said.

"Well, that's too bad for you." Butch said.

Spike looked at Butch with contempt in his eyes. He was angry.

In fact, he was so angry that he swiped Butch's iPod from his hands and threw it out of a 2-story window. Then Spike took a shotgun and shot at the iPod several times.

By the time it hit the ground, it couldn't even be recognized as an iPod anymore.

Spike decided to shoot at it a few more times just to make sure that it wasn't working.

When he was done, he closed the window and put the gun away. He wiped imaginary dust from his arm as he did so.

"Might I ask why you just did that?" Butch asked with half-lidded eyes.

"If I have to sit here and do nothing for several hours then so do you!" Spike said.

"I dislike you with great intensity" Butch said.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Spike asked.

His answer was a punch to the face.

**XXXXXX**

Several moments later, Tom and Jerry were chasing each other on the stage.

Tom had slipped into the role of the clumsy failure of a cat that never wins, and Jerry had slipped into the role of the cute and lovable mouse that always wins.

Tom, Jerry, and the director were in a stage that was covered with sound-proof glass. If the glass wasn't there, they would have heard several gunshots along with the sound of an iPod breaking. They also would have heard the sound of Butch screaming and the sound of things breaking in the other room.

However, they DIDN'T hear it because of the glass.

But they DID hear something else.

The sound of the director screaming.

"You call that acting, Tom?! I've seen immature, hyperactive, mutant chimpanzees act better than that! Where's the emotion? I want more emotion!" The director said.

"I think I lost my emotion years ago." Tom said.

"I don't like your attitude!" The director said.

"Who does?" Tom asked.

"Let's just start this scene over before I do something I'll regret!" The director said.

Tom and Jerry returned to their starting positions.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" The director said.

Despite Tom's uncaring attitude, he actually tried to put more emotion into his acting.

Not because he cared about how the movie turned out, but because he didn't want to make the director angrier than he already was.

Not that Tom was afraid of the director (quite the opposite really).

When the director got angry at Tom or Jerry (usually Tom), he would sometimes force them to work an extra hour out of spite.

And if there was anything Tom hated, it was acting out this wretched cartoon any longer than he needed to.

"CUT! That's TOO much emotion, Tom! We're trying to make this look realistic. We're not trying to make it seem obvious that you're acting. Try to cut down on the emotion! You're just a cat trying to catch a mouse. It's no big deal." The director said.

Tom fumed at this. Another thing he hated about the director, it was his inability to make up his mind.

"First you want more emotion, now you want less emotion? Make up your mind, darn you!" Tom said.

"I'd watch your mouth if I were you! If you keep this up, then you might end up fired!" The director said.

"Is that supposed to be your version of a threat? If it is, then you've got a long way to go." Tom said.

"And you've got a short way to go before you lose your job! If you want to keep your job here in this studio then I suggest that you get your act together." The director said.

"You're working under the assumption that I WANT to work in this rat-infested studio!" Tom said.

"Keep talking like that and you might get fired for real!" The director said.

"Please. You can't fire me and you know it. The few fans we have left have gotten too used to me. If you replace me, then we might lose the few fans we have left. And if that happens, the show would have to be canceled. And if the show is canceled, then you will have nothing to direct and you will lose YOUR job!" Tom stated.

The director gritted his teeth in anger.

"Just…get…back…to…work!" The director said.

Tom smirked. He knew that he won this argument. And he thoroughly enjoyed getting under the director's skin.

After a few more takes, the director was finally satisfied with the scene.

"Alright! That was perfect! Excellent job, you two! Now then, we can move on to the next scene. This is the scene where Mrs. Two-Shoes comes in. She sees that her house has been ruined and naturally, she takes it out on Tom." The director said.

Everyone in the room including Tom, Jerry, and the cameramen visibly groaned at the mention of Mrs. Two-Shoes.

Mrs. Two-Shoes was very likely the most awful actress in existence. It was never an exaggeration when someone said that she couldn't act to save her own life.

Any take they did that included Mrs. Two-Shoes often took several hours to finish. This was because Mrs. Two-Shoes often took several hours before she could get _any _take right.

No one could comprehend why no one would replace her for a competent actress.

Then again, the director DID try to replace her a few years ago, but not many people wanted the job of being Tom's owner in the show. In fact, few people wanted the chance to associate with the cat at all. A fact that Tom was very proud of. Why? No one knew. No one _wanted _to know either.

Since no one (give or takea few individuals) wanted to play the part of Tom's owner, Mrs. Two-Shoes got stuck with the role.

Much to the displeasure of every one currently standing in this room and beyond.

"Alright! Let's move it people! It's time to begin the next scene!" The director said.

Then the people in the room got to their assigned positions.

"Lights, camera, and ACTION!" The director said.

On the stage, Tom was sitting on the floor, visibly noticing how destroyed the house was.

Then, Mrs. Two-Shoes unlocked the door with her key. She noticed that her house was almost completely destroyed. She turned to Tom.

"Thomas. What have you done?" Mrs. Two-Shoes asked without any hint of anger in her voice.

"CUT! No, no, Mrs. Two-Shoes. You're supposed to sound angry! Remember, your whole house just got destroyed and it's Tom's fault! You need to be more aggressive! Remember, you're talking to the person who destroyed your house! BE ANGRY!" The director said.

"Oh, I see. I got it" Mrs. Two-Shoes said.

Tom snorted.

"I doubt that highly." Tom said.

"Take two!" The director said.

Tom was once again in the middle of the room. A look of pretend shock was on his face as he observed the wrecked house.

Then the front door was kicked in by Mrs. Two-Shoes.

The door was kicked so hard that it flew off it's hinges and flew straight for Tom's face.

**BAM!**

Tom was knocked to the floor in an instant.

"**THOMAS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!**" Mrs. Two-Shoes said in a fairly inhuman voice.

Tom was almost afraid of her for a moment. Almost.

"CUT! This is all wrong! First of all, that's TOO much anger! Cut down on the anger a bit! Second of all, you're supposed to sound surprised when you first come in! Remember, you're just coming back from a peaceful drive to the grocery store. Then, you walk in and find that your HOUSE HAS BEEN DESTROYED! Look surprised first! Then angry! And cut down on the anger!" The director said.

"Alright, look surprised. Got it." Mrs. Two-Shoes said.

"Alright, take three" The director said.

Tom was sitting in the middle of the room again. Then the door was opened (more gently this time), and Mrs. Two-Shoes walked in.

She saw how damaged the house was and a look of shock appeared on her unseen (1) face.

"GAAAAASSSSSPPPP!" Mrs. Two-Shoes gasped.

Several minutes later, Mrs. Two-Shoes was still gasping. And she had not stopped once.

Honestly, how could a single human have that much breath in order to gasp that long?

"You do realize that taking breaths between gasps is pivotal to staying alive, right? 'Cause it seems you forgot for a moment there, you stupid woman!" Tom said.

"CUT!" The director said.

The director shook his head. He was getting very irritated and very tired.

'Great, what else can go wrong?' The director wondered.

As if answering his question, Spike flew straight through the glass and hit the ground.

Moments later, Butch jumped through the glass after him.

"Bonzai!" The black cat yelled before jumping on top of Spike.

The two of them fought each other on top of the stage.

"What in blazes are you two doing?" Jerry asked.

"This canine fool broke my iPod so I'm gonna kick his bone sucking butt!" Butch said.

Tom was almost surprised at how violent Butch was getting. He's almost never this violent!

Then again, his iPod did get broken. That required serious retribution. In Butch's eyes anyway.

Still, Tom couldn't resist the urge to join this fight.

"If that's the case, then count me in!" Tom said.

"You're gonna help me fight him?" Butch asked, surprised.

"Of course not!" Tom said.

"That means he's on my side! I knew you cared Tom!" Spike said.

"I'm not on your side either, fool! I'm on MY side!" Tom said.

Then Tom punched Butch in the face and kicked Spike in the stomach.

Butch retaliated by punching Tom in the jaw. While Butch was distracted, Spike came up from behind him and swept Butch's feet out from under him with a sweep kick. Spike was about to bring his fist down on Butch's body before getting punched in the face by Tom, who was kicked by Butch. All three of them continued to fight with each other.

Jerry tried to stop the fight, but he ended up getting dragged into the fight himself. It wasn't long before the fight turned into an all-out brawl.

Mrs. Two-Shoes watched as the four anthropomorphs fought with each other.

'Well,' She thought, 'Everyone else is fighting. I might as well join in.'

With that in mind, Mrs. Two-Shoes grabbed a chair and slammed it down on Tom's head, watching as the chair broke into many pieces.

Tom, who had a pink cartoon bump on his head, took one of the chair pieces and walked threateningly towards Mrs. Two-Shoes, who retaliated by throwing another chair.

It wasn't long before Mrs. Two-Shoes joined the fight as well. All five characters were busy fighting with each other.

The director looked at this with shock written on his face. How could everything go so horribly wrong?

They didn't even finish the scene. In fact, the scene was ruined. And at this rate, they will never get it done. There was nothing that could possibly make the situation worse.

'Oh well,' The director thought, 'if you can't beat them, then you must join them!'

Then the director had grabbed the closest thing that he could use as a weapon, and he jumped straight into the fray.

And so, they spent the rest of the day fighting each other until they eventually got bored and went home.

**- end of chapter -**

**A/N: Okay, so not everything that I promised was going to happen actually happened in this chapter. This doesn't mean that I lied.**

**Actually, I told the truth. All that stuff is going to happen. However, I decided it would be simpler to put those events in a later chapter. This one was getting too long for my taste.**

**I know this chapter is short by normal standards, but I'm a lazy person. I don't like typing long chapters! **

**Anyway, what you are about to read is a short clip that I meant to put in the first chapter but I forgot.**

**I hope you enjoy this short story. There will be more short stories like this at the ends of other chapters so stay tuned.**

**XXXXXX**

**Short Story 1: A Meeting with the Author **

Tom, Jerry, Butch, Spike, and Tyke walk through the front door of their house.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton**: Hey guys! I'm glad you could make it. Now then, let's start this meeting.

**Butch: **Whoa, who are you and where the heck did you come from?

**Jerry:** And how did you get in our house?

**Spike: **Yeah. We just walked in our house and you were sitting there and you said, 'Glad you could make it. Let's start this meeting'.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Sorry about that. I got ahead of myself. Let me introduce myself. I'm Saucely Kazzy Carton, but you can call me Saucely Kazzy Carton. I'm here to talk to you about a book-

**Spike**: Oh no! I know who you are! You're a librarian, aren't you? I know the book I rented from the library is several years late! I'll turn it in! I swear!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **I'm not a librarian.

**Spike: **Oh. Forget what I just said.

**Tyke: **I'm hungry. I want chili dogs.

**Tom: **You already ate 20 chili dogs!

**Tyke: **I know, but that was a long time ago.

**Tom: **It was five minutes ago!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Ahem. Can I continue?

**Jerry: **Please.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **As I said, I'm not a librarian. I'm more of an author.

**Butch: **An author?

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Yes, and I'm here to talk to you about a book. Well, not really a book but more of a story. I'm here to talk to you about a biography.

**Butch: **A biography?

**Tom: **What are you, a parrot?

**Butch: **Shut it, sibling. I don't need any of your insults.

**Tom: **I agree with you there. What you REALLY need is professional help from a psychiatrist.

**Butch: **Funny. I was going to say the same thing about you.

**Tom: **Dork.

**Butch:** Why are you always such a heartless jerk? Why can't you be nice for once?

**Tom: **You say that like you've never done anything bad in your life. You're no paragon of niceness, you know. You've done just as many bad things as me. Don't deny it!

**Butch: **That may be true, but at least I admit my mistakes. You seem to think that you're the center of the world. You're so full of it that it makes me sick!

**Tom: **Maybe, but it sure is better than what you're full of.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Guys? Can…I…continue?

**Tom: **NO!

**Butch: **YES!

**Jerry:** Please ignore Tom. He's always like this.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **I am aware of that. Anyway, I was going to make a biography about you guys. Everyone knows Tom and Jerry and what they do. On the cartoons and movies that is. But not many people know what it is that they do when they're not acting out a cartoon or movie.

**Spike: **So you're going to make a story about what we're like in real life?

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Yeah. It's like a documentary. The true story of Tom and Jerry, where we reveal the story behind the story. I plan on making a story that will tell the readers everything that happened to you since the year 2006.

**Tom: **If you think that we're going to sit down and tell you every little thing that happened to us since the year 2006-

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Oh, don't worry. I already know everything that happened to you since 2006.

**Butch:** You do? How?

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Nobody knows this but I have secretly hidden cameras across the whole city. They have been there since 2006. I have evidence of every immense thing that has occurred to you since then and I have scrutinized every diminutive phenomenon that has occurred in every circadian point in your existence.

**Spike: **Wait…what?

**Tom: **It's just a fancy way of saying that he's been spying on us with cameras since 2006.

**Jerry: **The nerve! Isn't that an invasion of privacy?!

**Butch: **Yeah! You can't just spy on us for four years and think you can get away with it!

**Jerry: **Wait. Four years? Don't you mean eight years?

**Butch: **Eight years? What are you talking about? It's 2010, isn't it?

**Tom: **It's 2014 fool!

**Butch: **2014? Are you sure?

**Tom and Jerry: **Positive.

**Spike: **Even I know that it's 2014. And that's an accomplishment in itself.

**Tom:** Can't argue with him there.

**Butch: **I could have sworn it was 2010.

**Jerry: **When was the last time you looked at your calendar?

**Butch:** 2010.

**Jerry: **Well, there you go. Look at it again.

Butch looked at his calendar.

**Butch: **Holy mother of cows! It is 2014!

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Spike: **How did you not know that it's 2014?

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Butch: **I don't know. I guess I just lose track of time.

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Spike: **That's an understatement. Even I knew that it's 2014.

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Butch: **You're just saying that because you read the newspaper everyday.

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Spike: **Are you implying that if it wasn't for the fact that I read the newspaper everyday, I'd be just as clueless as you?

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Butch: **Am I wrong?

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Spike: **Well…no, but…

**Tyke: **I WANT CHILIDOGS!

**Butch:** Ok, Tyke. We heard you the first time!

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Tom: **Will someone get this brat some chilidogs so he can shut up!

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Butch: **Sheesh. You sound like Sonic the Hedgehog for crying out loud!

**Jerry: **Any hardcore Sonic fan would know what that meant.

Then, out of nowhere, Sonic the Hedgehog jumps through the window.

**Sonic: **What's up, everybody!

**Jerry: **Sonic the Hedgehog! Where the heck did you come from?

**Sonic: **Haven't you heard the phrase 'say my name and I magically appear'

**Tyke: **Like the Wizard of Oz!

**Tom: **No you fool, that doesn't even apply here!

**Spike: **Um…what?

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Anyway, I will make a story about everything that happened to you since 2006. The story will be called 'Insanity'.

**Jerry: **Why insanity?

**Butch: **Because that's what occurs throughout most of our lives.

**Jerry:** Ah.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **I will post the story on a website in an alternate dimension known as Earth. The website is known as 'Fanfiction'. In fact, I already posted the first chapter and the second chapter is getting posted as we speak. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if several people are reading the chapter right now.

**Jerry: **But what if you reveal something about us that we don't want other people to know about. We have our secrets too.

**Tom: **The way I see it, it doesn't even matter. The people on Earth don't even realize that we exist. We're just 'figments of their imagination' on Earth.

**Butch: **That's true. Earthlings have no concept of the existence of cartoon characters in real life.

**Tom: **Poor fools. I pity them.

**Tyke: **I want chilidogs!

**Sonic: **I do too.

**Butch:** We don't even have any chilidogs!

**Tyke and Sonic: **WE WANT CHILIDOGS!

**Butch: **Did you not hear what I just said?!

**Tom: **I'm surrounded by imbeciles!

**Sonic:** Chilidogs…

**Tom: **Look, you stupid excuse for a sentient being! If you want to live longer than the next 30 seconds then I suggest you stop whining about chilidogs! Now get out before I force you out!

**Sonic: **You say that like you're not happy to see me.

**Tom: **'Happy to see you'?! I don't even KNOW you!

**Spike: **(Gasp)

**Jerry: **(Gasp)

**Butch: **(Gasp)

**Spike: **How can you say that with a straight face?!

**Butch: **You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

**Tom: **I have done nothing to be ashamed of. I just told the stranger to beat it.

**Jerry: **Wait. You're serious? You really don't know who he is? Don't you play video games?

**Tom:** I despise videogames.

**Jerry: **This person is Sonic the Hedgehog! The greatest videogame character ever! Second only to Mario.

**Butch: **What! Shut up! Mario is not better than Sonic!

**Jerry: **Yes he is.

**Butch: **No he isn't! Sonic's the greatest, no contest! That fat, red-capped, lasagna eating loser can't even compete with Sonic!

**Jerry:** What?! How can you say such a thing?

**Butch: **It isn't that hard. Sonic rules, Mario drools.

**Jerry: **Mario is awesome!

**Butch: **Mario sucks eggs! Sonic is where it's at!

**Jerry: **Mario!

**Butch: **Sonic!

**Jerry: **MARIO!

Then Mario drops from the ceiling and lands on top of Tom.

**Mario: **Hello.

**Jerry: **Wow, it's Mario!

**Mario: **Mamma mia!

Mario sits down on top of Tom.

**Tom: **Can someone get this fat fool off of me! He's crushing my spine!

**Butch: **Mario, keep sitting on Tom.

**Jerry: **Now now. You don't want your brother to die, do you?

**Butch: **Maybe.

**Tom: **Help me, darn it!

**Butch: **(Sigh) might as well.

Butch dropkicks Mario out of the window. Tom sighs in relief.

**Tom:** Took you long enough.

**Butch: **(sighs sarcastically) You sure seem grateful. I think I clearly heard you say 'thanks for helping me out, Butch. You're a real pal'.

**Tom: **Humph.

**Tyke: **I want a chilidog!

**Tom: **Nobody cares!

**Tyke: **If I don't get one, I'm going to scream.

**Tom: **Shut up, brat.

**Tyke: **AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Tom: **I said SHUT UP!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Don't ignore me!

**Tyke: **AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Spike: **It's too loud!

**Tyke: **AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Butch: **Oh dear.

**Jerry: **This is getting out of hand!

**Tom: **Silence!

**Sonic: **Do you have any video games in this place?

**Tyke:** AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

**Tom: **If you don't shut up, I'll shut you all up myself!

**Spike: **AAAAAAHHHHHH!

**Tyke:** AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

**Butch: **AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

**Tom: **Do you want to die?

**Sonic: **I'm bored.

**Tyke:** AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **I don't like being ignored!

**Tyke: **I want a chilidog!

**Spike: **I want silence! 

**Jerry: **This is too loud.

**Tyke: **I need to pee!

**Sonic: **I'm the fastest thing alive, you know.

**Butch: **That's great.

**Tyke: **AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Tom: **SILENCE!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **I HATE BEING IGNORED!

**Butch: **THIS IS GETTING ON MY NERVES!

**Tyke: **AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Spike: **I WANT A BONE!

**Tyke: **I WANT A CHILIDOG!

**Butch: **I WANT SILENCE!

**Sonic: **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Spike: **AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Butch: **AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Tyke: **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Jerry: **AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Tom: **EVERYONE SHUT UP NOW OR I WILL DROP THIS NUCLEAR BOMB TO THE GROUND AND KILL US ALL!

**Jerry: **… 

**Butch: **…

**Spike: **…

**Tyke: **…

**Sonic: **…

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **…

**XXXXXX**

**To be continued…**

What will happen next?

Will Tom kill everyone in a homicidal rage?

Will the movie ever be finished?

Will Tyke ever get his chilidogs?

Stay tuned for more Insanity!

**XXXXXX**

(1) For those of you who don't know who Mrs. Two-Shoes is, she's Tom's owner in the show. Her head is never revealed in the series though, so no one knows what her face looks like.


	3. A New TV Show!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tom and Jerry and I don't want to. Turner Entertainment and Warner Brothers can keep their names tacked on for all I care.

A/N: Welcome back to 'Insanity'. If you are reading this then that must mean that you have come back for more craziness and utter chaos. Rest assured that that is what you're going to get.

Another A/N: Who has seen 'The Tom and Jerry Show' that is supposed to come on Cartoon Network. I haven't watched it yet but it looks like it might be a good cartoon show.

Also, I'm not sure but I think they got rid of Mrs. Two-Shoes. At least, I hope so. Man, I hate that woman.

Yet Another A/N: In reference to Chapter 1, a friend of mine told me that you use a coffee machine to make coffee. I'll make a note of that as I continue to write this story.

Speaking of which, that comment I made in Chapter 1 about Tyke owning a knife turned out to be false. Just letting you know.

**XXXXXXX**

**Chapter 3: **A New TV Show?

You could always tell when it was morning at The Tom and Jerry Mansion.

There are several signs that you have to look for in order to tell whether or not it is morning.

First, you will hear the sound of a loud alarm clock, followed by several screams.

Then, you will hear some gunshots followed by more screaming.

Next, you will hear an explosion and more gunshots.

Finally, you will hear some more screams before things calm down.

If you live in The Tom and Jerry Mansion and you have heard all these things, then it is just another ordinary morning.

If you live anywhere else, and you have heard these things, then you might want to call 9-1-1 as soon as possible.

**XXXXX**

Tom walked down the stairs, dressed in a black housecoat, with a frown on his face.

He walked into the enormous living room of the Tom and Jerry Mansion and took a seat at the table.

Butch was already there and he was smiling.

"Good morning, brother." Butch said.

"Wipe that grin off your face before I shoot it off!" Tom said.

"I can see you're in a good mood." Butch said sarcastically.

"Shut it. I hate mornings! No human being should be able to be happy at this time." Tom said.

"But we're not human beings. We're cats" Butch pointed out.

"That's irrelevant." Tom said.

Tom laid his face on the table and tried to catch more sleep. Butch simply sat there while drinking his orange juice.

Then Tyke came in the room and walked to the table. He tapped Tom's leg several times.

"What, brat?" Tom said.

"I'm hungry." Tyke said.

"That's great" Tom said before closing his eyes again.

Tyke tapped Tom on the leg again.

"What?!" Tom snapped.

"Can you make me some breakfast?" Tyke said.

"No." Tom said.

"Please?" Tyke asked.

"I said NO! Make it yourself!" Tom said.

"I'm too small to reach the cereal. And I don't know how to make anything else." Tyke said.

"Not my problem. Now leave me alone before I make you eat dirt!" Tom said.

"Tom, what's wrong with you? Do you want the kid to starve?" Butch asked.

"I would be happier if he did." Tom said.

"Just make the kid some breakfast" Butch said.

"No." Tom said.

"Just make him some cereal. Making cereal is not hard. All you do is take a bowl, put cereal in it, and pour some milk. Easy." Butch said.

"If it's so easy, why don't you do it?" Tom asked.

"Because I don't want to." Butch said simply.

"Well, I don't either, so there." Tom said.

"Tom, make him some breakfast!" Butch said.

"NO!" Tom yelled.

"The sooner you make him breakfast, the sooner we'll leave you alone." Butch said.

"No means no." Tom said.

"Please?" Tyke said.

"Do you have a death wish? I said no!" Tom said.

Tyke began to scream and cry, while Butch kept annoying Tom.

It wasn't for a fair while that Tom finally snapped and bent to the young dog's cries.

"FINE! I'll make you some cereal! Just shut up!" Tom said.

Tyke grinned as Tom went into the kitchen and made some cereal.

Then Jerry walked into the room.

He looked like death.

His eyes were red and he had black bags under his eyes.

Butch noticed this and frowned.

"Looks like you need to start going to bed earlier, Jerry." Butch said.

Jerry only hummed in response.

Then, Jerry climbed onto the table before he fell to the ground, snoring.

Butch shook his head as he picked Jerry up and set him down in Tom's seat.

As he did this, Tom unceremoniously dumped a load of Cheerios into Tyke's favorite food bowl.

When he was done, he handed it to Tyke.

"Here, brat." Tom said.

"I don't want Cheerios! I want Froot Loops!" Tyke said.

"I don't care. Take it." Tom said.

"But I don't want it!" Tyke said.

"Look, brat! You told me you wanted breakfast, and I'm giving it to you! HERE!" Tom said.

Tyke reluctantly took the bowl of Cheerios, while muttering about his precious 'Froot Loops'.

With that out of the way, Tom went back to his seat and sat down.

There was a muffled scream under Tom's behind.

"Uh, Tom? I think you're sitting on Jerry." Butch said.

Tom reached under him and picked up Jerry. Then he threw him across the room and Jerry landed in Tyke's cereal.

"There's a mouse in my cereal." Tyke said.

"Just eat it." Tom said.

"The mouse?" Tyke asked.

"No, stupid, the cereal!" Tom said.

"But there's a mouse in it." Tyke said.

"Then take the mouse out." Tom said.

"You know, the 'mouse' has a name. Why do you always have to be so rude to Jerry?" Butch said.

Tom growled in response as Jerry was fished out of the cereal.

"Are you okay, Jerry?" Butch asked.

"I got sat on, and I nearly drowned from cereal! Do I look okay?!" Jerry snapped.

"Ok, calm down! Don't get snippy!" Butch said.

Jerry grumbled some more before walking off.

Things started to quiet down a bit.

Then, Spike walked down the stairs. He was singing a happy tune and had a merry grin on his face.

Tom took a brick, which he seemingly got out of nowhere, and threw it at Spike.

Spike was hit on the head and knocked unconscious as he fell down the stairs.

Butch looked at Tom.

"Was that necessary?" Butch asked.

"He was irritating me." Tom said simply.

"So you threw a brick at him?" Butch asked.

"I've thrown worse." Tom replied.

Butch shrugged and turned his attention to his magazine.

Spike regained consciousness and he shook his head, trying to remember what happened. Then he remembered that he got hit with a brick by Tom.

"What the heck, Tom?" Spike asked.

"Don't 'what the heck' me, Spike. You know exactly what the heck. You know how I hate it when people sing cheerful songs in the morning"

"Why can't you be happy for once? You're always so gloomy and depressing" Spike asked.

"I'm not ALWAYS gloomy." Tom said.

"Oh yeah? When was the last time that you smiled in the last 3 years?" Spike asked.

"…"

"That's what I thought. You need to do something fun in order to spice up your life." Spike said.

"My life doesn't need any spice." Tom said.

"Yes it does. All you do all day is sit in your chair and act miserable. You need to do something fun!" Spike said.

"I do do fun things." Tom said.

"The only thing that you do that you consider 'fun' is terrorize the city with your bombs and war machines" Butch cut in.

"I'm surprised you didn't get arrested for that" Spike said.

"Even if they had tried, I wouldn't have let them take me alive" Tom said.

"In any case, brother, you need to do something productive with your time." Butch said.

"I do productive things. I just don't have the time." Tom said.

"How could you not have the time! You practically have all the time in the world!" Butch said.

"No I don't." Tom said.

"Name something that you do that takes up all of your time." Butch said.

"Acting out scenes for those stupid 'Tom and Jerry' movies." Tom said.

"You don't do that 24/7." Butch said.

"Regardless, I don't have time to do anything productive" Tom said.

"You're just making up excuses!" Butch said.

"No, I'm not." Tom said.

"Yes you are" Butch said, getting in Tom's face.

"No…I'm…not." Tom said.

"Guys, can you stop talking about…things? You're giving me a headache." Jerry said.

"Mother would be so disappointed if she found out how lazy you've become." Butch said.

"You did NOT just bring Mother into this." Tom growled.

"Guys, can you be quiet?" Jerry asked.

"I did TOO. You need to do something with your life." Butch said.

"Guys…" Jerry started.

"My life, unlike yours, is perfect." Tom said.

"Guys…" Jerry said.

"Is NOT!" Butch said.

"Is TOO!" Tom said.

"SILENCE!" Jerry yelled.

Everyone in the house grew quiet. Most were in shock at Jerry's outburst.

"Jerry…did you just scream?" Spike said.

"I've never seen Jerry do that before." Butch said.

"I said SILENCE!" Jerry said.

There was a long, uneasy moment of quiet.

Tyke simply finished his cereal. He had completely ignored all the fighting and bickering that was around him.

After a few moments, Tyke abandoned his cereal (that he hardly ate), and turned on the TV.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" The television blared.

"Oh no. Not 'SpongeBob SquarePants'. Not this early in the morning" Butch groaned.

Tom got up, and went to the kitchen, intending to make himself some coffee.

The mansion was mostly silent, with the only noise coming from the television.

Butch was reading a magazine. Spike was staring off into space. Jerry had passed out in the middle of the floor. No one wanted to bother him though, so they let him catch up on his sleep. Tyke was watching SpongeBob on the TV. Tom was scowling at nothing while drinking his coffee.

Basically the whole house had quieted down.

Suddenly, Droopy burst through the wall on a motorcycle. He jumped off the motorcycle while it was still running and the motorcycle crashed into the TV.

Tyke cried at the loss of the television set.

Jerry had woke up, hearing the commotion.

Tom had ignored the whole thing, simply staring off into space.

"Hi everybody." Droopy said.

"You could've knocked on the door you know. You didn't have to drive through the wall." Butch said.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Spike asked.

"I came here to tell you that Warner Brothers want you to come to their studio for a meeting." Droopy said.

"But it's our day off!" Butch complained.

Droopy didn't respond. He simply got on his motorcycle and drove through a section of the wall.

"There was ALREADY a hole in the wall. Why'd he have to make another?" Spike said.

Jerry was sleeping on his feet, his head was cocked back and he was snoring.

"(Sigh) I guess we have to go to Warner Brothers' studios and see what they want with us" Butch said.

**XXXXXX**

**Later**

The Tom and Jerry crew had arrived at the Warner Brothers meeting room. They sat down in their seats, waiting for the boss to speak.

Their expressions were mixed.

Tom was scowling at everyone.

Butch was eager to see what the meeting was about.

Jerry was sleeping on the table. Drool dripped out of Jerry's mouth and onto the table.

Spike was licking a bone.

Tyke was playing a handheld videogame.

Eventually, Butch broke the silence.

"So, is there a reason why you called us out here?" Butch said.

"As a matter of fact, there is. I'm about to tell you why I called you here to this meeting." the boss said.

**2 hours later**

"And that's why I called you to this meeting." The boss said.

"What are you talking about? You just waited two hours and then said 'That's why I called you to this meeting'. Is there a REAL reason why we're here?" Butch said.

"Yes, well, there IS a reason and I'm about to tell it to you." The boss said.

A moment passed.

"You see, we have noticed how the Tom and Jerry fan base has been slowly declining over the past few years. In order to keep 'Tom and Jerry' alive, we have decided to do something to get our fans back. So this is what we decided." The boss said.

The boss took a breath and continued.

"We are going to start making 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons again." The boss said.

The room was silent.

Most of the Tom and Jerry crew was shocked. Even Tom was caught off guard.

"Say what?" Butch said.

"We're…going to make cartoons again?" Spike said in shock.

"Wow. We haven't made a 'Tom and Jerry' cartoon since the 1990's." said Jerry, who was now wide awake.

"The show will be called 'Tom and Jerry Tales'. We will be filming the first episode shortly." The boss said.

"Isn't this exciting, brother?" Butch said.

"Humph. I suppose, though I've had more excitement while getting eaten by a giant man-eating monkey." Tom said.

"Don't be like that, Tom. This is our show we're talking about! Our pride and joy. It's what we worked blood, sweat, and tears for. You should be happy!"

"I'd be happier if the show was just canceled." Tom said bitterly.

"But it'll be a great show! The kids will love it." The boss whined.

"Look, you obnoxious wretch, this new 'Tom and Jerry Tales' show is stupid. And YOU'RE stupid for coming up with such a stupid idea, stupid!" Tom said.

"But you haven't heard what the show is about, yet!" The boss said.

Tom raised an eyebrow.

"Are you serious? It's 'Tom and Jerry', fool! What else can it be about other than a cat that chases a mouse!" Tom said.

"But the plot is so much more detailed. The intricately layered plot will put anything before it to shame." The boss said.

"Alright, I'll bite. What is the show about?" Butch said.

"The plot better be good." Tom threatened.

"It is. You see, the story centers around a cat. This cat is minding his own business, when he gets disturbed by a mouse. The cat gets angry at the mouse. Soon, the cat starts chasing the mouse. Then, the mouse will outsmart the cat and-"

"HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST TOM AND JERRY CARTOONS!" Tom yelled.

"But it's better." The boss whined.

"How?" Tom said.

"It is." The boss said.

"Look, you blithering pile of flea-dung, unless you can come up with a legitimate reason why this show won't be retarded in the next five seconds, I'm going to dropkick you out of the window." Tom said.

"Um."

"Too late" Tom said.

Then, Tom dropkicked the boss out of the window.

**XXXXXX**

**Several hours later**

The Tom and Jerry crew walked through the door of The Tom and Jerry Mansion.

Tyke went to watch TV. He watched it in another room since the living room TV was still broken.

Tom scowled so deeply that any flea that flew in front of his face immediately died from his scary glare.

Jerry looked at Tom.

"You know, you didn't have to put the boss in the hospital, Tom.

He might fire you for that." Jerry said.

"I still can't see how the fool wound up in the hospital in the first place." Tom said.

"You kicked him out of a window, Tom." Jerry said.

"So? We throw each other out of a bunch of windows and we've never wound up in the hospital." Tom said.

"Tom. We're anthropomorphic cartoon characters. We can get thrown off the top of the Eiffel Tower and still come out unscathed. However, the boss was a genuine human being. So yes, throwing him out of a 2-story window put him in the hospital." Jerry said.

"Well, don't blame me. Blame humans for being so weak and brittle." Tom said uncaringly.

"Do you even care that the boss is in the hospital?" Jerry asked.

"Not really, no." Tom said.

"Well, I guess I should check on my pet turtle." Butch said.

"You have a pet turtle?" Jerry asked in surprise.

"Of course. His name is Stewart." Butch said.

"Pets are stupid" Tom said.

"Oh yeah? What about that mutant spider that you have?" Butch said.

"That's different. And it's a mutant tarantula" Tom said.

"How is that different?" Butch said.

"It is." Tom said.

Then Tom walked to the kitchen and Spike followed him.

Tom opened the refrigerator door and Spike took a look inside.

He searched for his iced tea but couldn't find it.

"Didn't I just buy some iced tea?" Spike asked.

"Maybe" Tom said.

"Well, what happened to it?" Spike said.

"We're all out" Tom said.

"I just bought it! How could we be all out?" Spike said.

"Your son decided to dump all the tea in a pond so the fish can drink it."

"Agh!" Spike groaned as he hit his head on a wall.

Jerry walked into the kitchen.

"Is there anything good to eat?" Jerry said.

"Not really" Spike said.

Jerry looked at their dwindling food selection.

"Hmm. Looks like we need to make a trip to the grocery store."

"Forget it. We'll just order takeout." Tom said.

"Might as well." Jerry said.

Tom, Jerry, and Spike walked into the living room where Butch and Tyke were.

"We're going to order takeout. What do you two fools want?" Tom said.

"Chilidogs!" Tyke said.

"I resent the insult, sibling." Butch said.

"Chilidogs!" Tyke said.

"Just answer the question." Tom said darkly.

"Chilidogs!" Tyke said.

"I'm in the mood for something spicy." Butch said.

"Chilidogs!" Tyke said.

"We could get some chicken, or tacos?" Jerry said.

"I hate tacos." Tom said.

"You hate all Mexican food! Heck, you hate Mexico period!" Jerry accused.

"Feh, if I had my way, I would blow-"

"You would blow the country with a nuclear bomb. Really, we've heard it before, sibling." Butch said making Tom scowl at him.

"Well, we've got to eat something." Spike said.

"How about this?" Jerry asked as he looked through an ad in the newspaper.

Butch read the ad.

"It's an advertisement for a new restaurant. It's called the Gloom Emporium"

"Sounds depressing. I like it already." Tom said.

"You would, goth boy." Butch said causing Tom to frown at him.

"So what does everyone want?" Jerry said.

"Chilidogs!" Tyke said.

"Ok. Tyke wants chilidogs. Anyone else?" Jerry asked.

"I'll just take a pizza." Spike said.

"Anything that's spicy" Butch said.

"I'll have the undead surprise" Tom said.

"Okay, I'll place the call" Jerry said, before walking to the phone.

"'Undead surprise'? What kind of name is that?" Spike said.

"Well, according to the ad, the restaurant is owned by vampires, so…" Butch said.

"Uh…I'm suddenly having second thoughts about eating from this place." Spike said.

"Relax, you big ninny. It's just food." Tom said.

"But what if the food poisons us or something?" Spike said.

"What kind of a restaurant would poison it's own customers?" Butch said.

"Besides, you eat McDonalds. If you can stomach that then you can stomach anything" Tom said.

Jerry talked on the phone, "Hello? I'd like to place a takeout order."

**XXXXX**

Moments later, Jerry got off the phone.

"Alright, the food should be here any-"

There was a knock on the door.

"Wow. That was fast." Jerry said.

Butch got up and answered the door. Tyke jumped up and down at the prospect of chilidogs.

Spike had a horrible sense of foreboding and was shaking like a nervous wreck.

Tom had settled into his armchair.

Eventually, Butch came back with bags of food in his hands.

"Alright, here's the food." Butch said.

"One bowl of chilidogs" Butch said as he handed Tyke his plate.

"One pizza" Butch gave Spike his plate.

"This isn't going to kill me, is it?" Spike said.

"No." Butch said.

"One undead surprise." Butch said as he handed Tom his plate.

"And whatever yours was." Butch said as he handed Jerry his plate.

"Thank you" Jerry said.

"Your welcome." Butch said.

Then Butch sat down and the Tom and Jerry Crew ate their dinner before they each went to bed.

**- end of chapter -**

**XXXXX**

**Jerry: **Well, I think that chapter turned out well.

**Butch: **Even if it was a little short.

**Spike: **Uh, all the chapters are short.

**Jerry: **I noticed that.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Hey, it's better to have short and sweet chapters than long and grueling ones.

**Jerry: **That's true.

**Tom: **I think this chapter had a severe lack of me.

**Butch: **What the freak are you talking about? This chapter was nothing but you. Heck, you're like the main character.

**Tom:** I realize that. Still, it's impossible to have too much of me.

**Butch: **You're so conceited.

**Tom: **Maybe, but it's better than what you are.

**Sonic: **I also think that this chapter had a lack of me.

**Tom: **That's because you're not in this story! Now beat it!

**Jerry: **Um, on a lighter note, what do you think of The Tom and Jerry Show?

**Butch: **I love it!

**Tom:** I hate it.

**Jerry: **I wasn't talking to you two! I was talking to Mr. Carton!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Well, I haven't exactly watched The Tom and Jerry Show yet. But the commercials look cool, so it might be a good show. On the other hand, commercials sometimes make things that are stupid sound cool.

**Spike: **Ain't that the truth? You should have seen the commercial for Sun Chips. They made them look so delicious. Then, when I actually tried them, they were just so nasty. I puked them out for the next three hours.

**Butch: **Don't you think you might be slightly exaggerating?

**Spike: **NO!

**Butch: **Moving on. Anyone who reviews this story will get a kiss from me, and I'm really handsome so you'll enjoy that. Unless you're male. Then you probably wouldn't.

**Tom: **With an exception for homosexuals.

**Butch: **Right. Definitely, an exception for homosexuals.

**Tyke: **What's a homosexual?

**Spike: **Um…I'll explain it when you're older.

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Anyway, please review! The sooner you do, the sooner I'll load another chapter of Insanity!

**Tyke: **YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

**Saucely Kazzy Carton: **Can you not do that?


	4. Tyke Must Be Stopped

**Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I can't update faster. Unfortunately, this isn't my main story. I'm currently working on a Beyblade crossover story and it's pretty big so that leaves little time for this.**

**However, I have not forgotten about you guys and because of this, I have managed to update. Thanks to the people who reviewed this story.**

**Oh, and by the way, I have finally seen the Tom and Jerry Show! As far as Tom and Jerry cartoons go, it's not that bad. It's actually pretty funny. I recommend it to anyone who loves Tom and Jerry!**

**Insanity Chapter 4: **Tyke Must Be Stopped

"I hate hospitals" Tom said.

The Tom and Jerry Crew were driving to the hospital. Butch was at the wheel, Spike was snoring with his eyes open, Tyke had his head out the window with his tongue sticking out like a dog (which he technically was), Jerry was frowning at Tyke, and Tom was just being Tom.

Eventually, the hospital was in sight and Butch drove closer.

For those of you who don't know, today is the day when Tom gets his check-up at the doctor's.

Eventually, Butch and the others got out of the car after it was parked and they headed to the hospital.

As they walked closer to the hospital, Tom glared at Jerry.

"I'm going to kill you." Tom said.

"Why are you mad at ME?!" Jerry said.

"Because you were the one who reminded my brother that today was the day of my checkup." Tom said.

"Well, you do need a checkup. You haven't had one in 28 years." Jerry said.

"Bite me. I wouldn't even be here if Butch hadn't threatened me at gunpoint." Tom said.

"Tom, why do you have to be so stubborn about this? It's just a checkup. It'll be quick." Jerry said.

"Bah. If I want to go the rest of my life without a checkup, then I will." Tom said.

Eventually, they entered the hospital.

There were several people in the lobby.

"Ugh, I hate hospitals!" Tom said.

Tyke ran around the room like a missile. He kept running around with a crazed look on his face, causing a ruckus everywhere.

"What's the matter with you, brat?!" Tom said.

"I think he's in another sugar-induced craze." Jerry said.

"Spike, how much sugar do you allow your freak of a son to consume on a daily basis?" Tom asked Spike.

"About 5 gallons of sugar once every ten minutes. Why?" Spike said.

"He should be the one getting a checkup!" Tom said.

Meanwhile, a doctor saw Tyke and walked up to him.

If he had known about Tyke's sugar-craze, he probably wouldn't have done what he just did.

"Hey, little guy. Would you like a lollipop?" the doctor said.

The little dog's eyes dilated as he stared lustfully at the lollipops in the doctor's hand.

"I want a red lollipop! A RED one!" Tyke pointed at the red lollipop in the doctor's hand.

"Ok, here you go" the doctor said as he handed the red lollipop to Tyke.

"I said I wanted blue, you fool!" Tyke kicked the man in between the legs, causing him to jump up in pain.

As he did this, the doctor dropped the lollipops in his hand.

Tyke picked up the remaining lollipops and hungrily consumed them like a savage beast. Then Tyke looked around.

"Must…have…more…SUGAR!" Tyke said before running off with an insane laugh.

"(sigh) I'll go get him" Spike said before walking off in the direction that Tyke went.

Tom, Jerry, and Butch watched them leave.

"I will kill those dogs someday. Just see if I don't." Tom said.

"Now, now. Let's just get you to your doctor's appointment first." Jerry said.

With a scowl, Tom walked ahead to the nurse behind the front desk.

"I'm here for my doctor's appointment." Tom said.

"I'm sorry but we're not allowed to treat animals at our hospital. If you want treatment then you should go see a veterinarian." the nurse said.

"I am not going to a vet! And I'm not even an animal! I'm an anthropomorph" Tom said.

"The rules still apply." the nurse said.

Tom, who didn't even want a checkup in the first place, shrugged.

"Well, guys, it looks like I won't be getting that checkup after all so let's head on home. I'm sick of this place." Tom said.

"Not so fast! I have a disguise that might work on this lady!" Jerry said dramatically.

"Well, take it out and use it" Butch said.

Jerry grabbed a suitcase, that he seemingly got out of nowhere, and opened it. He took out a fake buzz-cutted mustache and attached it to his face.

Then Jerry walked up to the desk. However, since he was so small he had to use a ladder to get up there.

10 hours later

Jerry had finally finished climbing the ladder and walked up to the lady.

The lady saw his mustache and gasped.

"Oh my gosh! It's Adolf Hitler!" she said.

"You're right. I'm Hitler. And I demand that you let my friend get a checkup. If you don't, then there will be nasty consequences!" Jerry said.

"Of course, Mr. Hitler! Anything you say! Just don't kill me." the nurse said.

Thanks to Jerry's persuasion, the nurse was able to allow Tom to get his checkup. Much to his dismay.

"I'm going to kill you for this." Tom said as he glared at Jerry.

"Drop it, Tom!" Jerry said.

"I can't believe that disguise worked. You don't look or sound like Hitler. You're not even as tall as Hitler, and you bare no resemblance to Hitler. Plus, Hitler's dead." Butch said in disbelief.

"It just goes to show how stupid humans are." Tom said.

"Oh no. You're not going to start your 'I hate humanity speech'." Jerry said.

"Why not? Is your constitution too weak to handle such an intense speech" Tom said.

"No. You just anger everyone who hears it. Last time, we had to run 49 blocks just to get away from an angry human mob with laser-guided pitchforks" Jerry said.

"You should be glad that you got such good exercise. Not everyone can run 49 blocks." Tom said.

"I'm not mad about that! I'm mad about the fact that we nearly got killed by pitchforks that shoot lasers!" Jerry shouted.

"That's nothing to be mad about" Tom said.

"We nearly died." Jerry said.

"So?" Tom said.

"SO?! We could have lost our lives!" Jerry said.

"Um, can we change the subject to something that doesn't involve death?" Butch said.

"Like wars?" Tom said.

"That kind of involves death too." Butch said.

"Ha, ninny." Tom said.

"Don't call me that!" Butch said.

"Well, you are! But now that you mention wars, that reminds me of our days in the military." Tom said.

"Oh yeah. I remember those days. They were chaotic." Butch said.

"They were fun!" Tom said.

"You WOULD think that!" Butch said.

"Wait. You two were in the army? How come I never heard of this" Jerry asked.

"You never asked, stupid." Tom said.

"Hey, you don't have to insult him! And yes Jerry, we were in the army. In fact, we were one of the main contributors to World War 3." Butch said.

"Cut the gas. There was never a World War 3" Jerry said.

"Actually, there WAS a World War 3." Tom said.

"There was? Then how come no one has ever heard about it?!" Jerry said.

"Because the government decided to keep it secret and under wraps" he responded.

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"The less you know the better. All I can tell you is that after the war ended, the government used a device that caused the people to lose their memories of World War 3. Only a select few people know about it" Tom said.

"Should we be discussing a government secret in a public hallway?" Butch asked.

"Probably not, but the conversation has been started so we might as well finish it."

"So…what started World War 3?" Jerry said.

"Tom" Butch said.

"What about Tom?" Jerry asked.

"He accidentally started World War 3" Butch said.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that the Canadians would react that way?!" Tom said.

"So Tom started a World War? Somehow, I'm not surprised. And I'm not even going to ask about the Canadians." Jerry said.

"Good, because you probably don't want to know." Tom said.

"So, what happened? Tell me the story." Jerry said.

"Well, it went like this. It all started when it was discovered that the Canadians were really extra-terrestrial alien life forms in disguise." Butch said.

"That explains why they talk so weird" Jerry said.

(I don't mean to offend anyone from Canada. I actually think that Canada is awesome. I'm just insulting it for comedy reasons and I don't mean to hurt anyone)

"Well, anyway, here's what happened. It all started when Tom decided to…"

**XXXXX**

In a normal situation, Spike would enjoy being by himself. But he wasn't enjoying this for several reasons.

One: he was in a hospital, which was not a good place to hang out in.

Two: He was chasing after his crazed son who had eaten one gallon of sugar too many…

Following his son wasn't hard to do though. All he had to do was follow the trail of destruction led by Tyke.

Spike kept walking slowly and carefully. He searched left and right to find his son but couldn't find him.

Eventually, Spike started to lose hope, and that's when…it happened.

Spike heard the sound of someone punching someone else.

"I'll kick the snot out of you, Shredder! That'll teach you to mess with my heroes, the Ninja Turtles!" a voice said.

A voice that belonged to Tyke.

Spike turned the corner and saw Tyke punching the daylights out of an innocent doctor.

"Tyke, STOP!" Spike said.

Tyke turned around and saw Spike.

Recognition flared in his eyes.

"Santa Claus!" Tyke said.

"Huh?" Spike said.

Then Tyke ran into a surgery room.

"Yay, I'm in the Bat Cave!" Tyke said.

"Oh boy" Spike said.

Apparently, the sugar in Tyke's system was making him delusional.

Time to stop him before he did any more damage.

No matter what, Tyke had to be stopped!

**XXXXX**

"I hate this place" grumbled Tom.

"Look at it this way. The sooner you get your checkup over with, the sooner we can leave this place." Jerry said.

Tom and his companions were in front of the room that Tom's doctor was supposed to be in.

Butch knocked on the door.

"I'll be out in a moment" a voice said.

"So, anyway, what happened after the mutants declared war on the United States?" Jerry asked, clearly intrigued with the story of World War 3.

"Well, what happened was…um. What happened again?" Butch asked.

"You don't remember? Wow. And I thought my memory was bad" Tom said.

Butch glared at his gothic brother.

"Shut up. That is not true. It's just that so much stuff happened during World War 3 that I'm having a hard time remembering it all." Butch said.

"You of all people should know what happened. Remember, the robots?" Tom said.

"Oh yeah, NOW I remember. That was when Dr. Woe released his robot army in hopes of wiping out the Canadians." Butch said.

"He sent his robot army after the Americans too. That's where we come in." Tom said.

"Oh boy. I feel another freakishly long flashback coming up." Jerry said.

**XXXXX**

While Jerry listens to Tom's freakishly long flashback, let's see how Spike and Tyke are doing.

**XXXXXXX**

Spike looked at the trail of destruction and carnage led by Tyke. His crazed son was eating more and more sugar, slowly turning completely insane.

Spike walked through the hall where he was sure that his son would cause more havoc.

Armed with a butterfly net as well as a frying pan that would protect his head, Spike charged forward.

To be honest, Spike was a little nervous. It was never a good thing when his son went insane, and yes, this was not the first time he went crazy.

Spike wasn't a coward. If he was, then there was no way he could survive living with Tom and Jerry. Especially Tom.

However, Spike knew when he was in a dangerous situation and this is one of those situations.

So he was extremely cautious as he followed the trail of sugar that his son left behind.

The sugar led down into the basement, and reluctantly, Spike went down.

If you thought the hospital was creepy, then the hospital's basement was even creepier.

Spike felt cold shivers go down his spine as he walked down into the basement.

**CREAK!**

Spike turned around as he heard the creepy noise resonate throughout the basement.

Yet, Spike continued onward.

Eventually, Spike began to hear a noise as he continued.

The closer he got to the sound, the more familiar it seemed.

Soon, Spike came across his son who was talking to a legion of mice.

And not the harmless kind of mice like Jerry, but the live, wild, disease ridden kind.

"Don't worry Papa Smurf. I'll get you back home!" Tyke said.

"Tyke" Spike said.

Tyke turned to his father.

"Look out! It's Gargamel!" Tyke screamed, "I'll protect you!"

Tyke charged toward Spike.

Spike relaxed.

He knew that he was way stronger than Tyke was, so there was no reason to worry.

That is until Tyke took out a big giant bazooka/ machine gun/ missile launcher/ grenade launcher/ flamethrower/ laser shooter/ bomb shooter/ torpedo launcher/ knife thrower/ acid shooter/ cannon/ any other deadly weapon you can think of.

Spike's jaw dropped to the ground. (Like it did when Tyke took out that giant knife in Tom and Jerry: Robin Hood and his Merry Mouse)

"HOLY SCHNITZEL!" Spike yelled in alarm.

"Prepare to die, Gargamel!" Tyke said.

Oh shoot. Oh SHOOT!

Tyke shot the bazooka/ machine gun/ missile launcher/ grenade launcher/ flamethrower/ laser shooter/ bomb shooter/ torpedo launcher/ knife thrower/ acid shooter/ cannon at Spike.

Spike screamed as he ran out of the basement, explosions following behind him.

**XXXXXX**

"Good morning, gentlemen. Sorry about the delay. Please take a seat." The doctor said.

The doctor also happened to be Droopy.

"Droopy? I didn't know you were a doctor." Butch said.

"Yes. Doctorism is just one of my many talents." Droopy said.

"Doctorism? Is that even a word?" Butch said.

"In any case. I will be your doctor." Droopy said.

"Oh no no no NO! I don't trust Droopy. I'm out of here. You can rot for all I care." Tom said, trying to squeeze out of his brother's grip.

"Blast it, Butch. Let me go!" Tom said.

"Not until you get your doctor's appointment over with." Butch said.

"Curse you." Tom said.

"I love you too. Now please, do what Droopy says." Butch said.

"Are you forgetting that this is the guy who drove his motorcycle through our wall and into our television?" Tom said.

"Relax. That was an accident." Butch said.

"An ACCIDENT! That was no freaking accident! No accident can cause you to drive on someone's private property, straight through their wall, and into their television!" Tom said.

"So you're afraid of Droopy?" Butch asked.

"I'm not afraid of him. I just don't trust him" Tom said.

"No, I think you're just afraid. Fear has you in it's grasp" Butch said.

"I'll show you fear!" Tom said as he punched Butch in the face.

Butch landed on the ground.

"Why you…" Butch growled before he jumped at Tom.

Butch and Tom started to fight each other and before they knew it, they were on the ground biting and scratching.

"(sigh) He's always like this. Tom throws more of a fuss over getting a simple check up than Butch does over someone breaking his iPod." Jerry explained.

Jerry decided to sit down and wait for the brothers to stop fighting.

**XXXXXX**

Spike was panting as he ran down the hallway. He turned around and saw that Tyke was still chasing him.

He kept running away from Tyke and continued down the hall, pushing his way through doctors and nurses as he ran.

Tyke continued to chase him.

Eventually, Spike stopped and turned around.

'What am I doing? I should be the one chasing him! Not the other way around!' he thought.

With that in mind, Spike charged toward Tyke.

"I'm tired of running like a scared little baby! It's time to act like a man!" Spike said.

Spike charged toward Tyke like a football player about to tackle his opponent.

That is until Tyke stuck his foot to the side.

Spike tripped on Tyke's foot and fell out the window.

He fell 56 stories before landing on the ground.

**XXXXXX**

Tom was blindfolded, gagged, tied up, and chained as Butch carried him to Droopy.

Droopy tied up Tom to the examining table so he won't be able to escape. Once this was accomplished, Droopy released Tom's blindfold and his gag.

"Now, we can begin the exam." Droopy said.

Tom glared at Butch.

"This is all your fault" Tom said.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn about one tiny checkup?!" Butch said.

"I dislike you with strong intensity." Tom said.

"And I don't care. Just be quiet so Droopy can look you over" Butch said.

"Alright, fine. Let's just get this over with." Tom said.

And so, Butch and Jerry sat down in a corner of the room while Droopy examined Tom.

"Do you think we should look for Spike?" Jerry asked.

"Why should we?" Butch said.

"I don't know. It's just that we haven't seen him since he went after Tyke. You think he'd be back by now." Jerry said.

"You're such a worrywart. I'm sure Spike's fine. He's probably having a good time right this minute." Butch said.

**XXXXX**

'This is not my idea of a good time' Spike thought to himself after falling 56 stories.

He slowly got to his feet.

'You probably can't tell, but I'm in a considerable amount of pain right now.' Spike thought, 'could this day get any worse?'

Then, Superman appeared out of nowhere, looking ticked off for no apparent reason. He flew towards Spike and punched his lights out.

**XXXXXX**

Tom frowned heavily at Droopy. He didn't like him, and Tom made sure to let him know that.

Of course, he didn't like doctors period.

"First, we will test your reflexes" Droopy said.

"How can you test my reflexes if I can't move?!" Tom asked, referring to the fact that he was chained.

Droopy didn't respond. He simply took out a hammer.

Droopy pulled the hammer back.

"What's the hammer for?" Tom asked.

**WHAM!**

Tom was knocked into unconsciousness.

"Oh dear! I think I might've killed my patient. Oh well. I guess this means I will have to perform CPR." Droopy said.

(Note how similar this scene is to the Tom and Jerry Tales episode 'A life Less Guarded' in which Droopy gives Tom mouth-to-mouth CPR)

Jerry and Butch stared wide-eyed as Droopy gave Tom mouth-to-mouth CPR.

"You know, I almost hope Tom doesn't wake up" Jerry said.

Unfortunately, Tom did wake up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tom's scream resonated throughout the entire hospital.

**XXXXXXX**

Spike was in the hospital's parking lot and he was recovering from getting the snot kicked out of him by Superman.

Suddenly, Tyke left the hospital, passed by Spike, and jumped into a car.

Surprisingly, the car was unlocked, the car keys were inside, and all Tyke had to do was activate the engine before he drove off on a quest to get more sugar!

"Oh no! I have to stop Tyke! But how? I need a ride!" Spike said.

Then the Batmobile stopped by Spike.

"Did you say that you needed a ride?" Batman asked.

"Hey, Batman! Sweet ride you got there." Spike said.

"Thanks. Now get in. We gonna catch that dog!" Batman said dramatically.

Spike got in the passenger seat and the Batmobile drove off.

Tyke drove down the road.

He looked in the rearview mirror and saw the Batmobile.

'NO! I must get the sugar before they catch me!' he thought.

Of course, Tyke had no driving lessons of any kind ever.

If he did, he would've known to look where he was driving.

**BAM!**

**- To be continued -**

**What will happen next? What did Tyke crash into? Will Tom ever finish his checkup? Will Tyke ever get the sugar? **

**Stay tuned for more Insanity!**


End file.
